Three of the server, Chapter 12.

Dream broker. Pee. On keyboards and their owners. Start a new life. Nyuhosransk. Summit. Caumont evribadi. Kent Beck and mammoths. There are no news? . Patterns for programmers and gay. lock. Corduroy on the keyboard. Pofigistichesky method of dealing with the public vampires. Skype. Mary - wife of Misha! .


Previous chapter:.

Chapter 1. Server.
Chapter 2. Admin.
Chapter 3. Running on the Spot.
Chapter 4. Pornonet.
Chapter 5. Blue threat.
Chapter 6. plot.
Chapter 7. unexpected offer.
Chapter 8. Testers and analysts.
Chapter 9. escape.
Chapter 10. key.
Chapter 11. Forward to the Future.


Cyril fell down at the keyboard, blocking his powerful torso access to the keyboard. Sergei looked over his shoulder and, judging by their remarks, they delved into the stock prices of the future:.
- You see, while Norilsk Nickel is quite the scribe!.
- I have always said that nickel bumpers - a pampering!, Seconded by Sergei.
- And insurers wow, sausage, but not die.
- Let 's look better than the oil industry and gas. I have a bit of their shares.

It was obvious that the golden calf captured the minds of my colleagues. Mike sat down at the console of the black -red, and the server, it seems, unsuccessfully tried to guess the password, muttering something like ... or better try to Avogadro's number?. m- yes ...

I had no choice but to head for the rest of the old console, under the ancient linuh, the one that was not the Russian alphabet. I typed in the search engines address 175. 41. 80. 5, slightly weird porassmatrivat black and red logo of Google, and then, obeying the second momentum whim, typed in a string «IBM» and slapped Enter Barely.



Dusty keyboard, on which white spots are visible entry keys, space bar and arrows, said that its owner - a typical office plankton, conducting endless time in arcades fleshovyh like throwing penguins. A brightly white- and alcohol -smelling keyboard clearly indicates an attempt to lead programmers to start a new life: Monday: Press pump and drive away the stomach, refactor all the code (well, at least the main module ) to get all the time commits code into CVS, and to invite Mr. . Well, at least the germs on the keyboard became less.

Indulging in such a melancholy reasoning ( with a hangover is particularly melancholy, did not notice?), I finally looked at the results.
The first result was quite expected: www. ibm. com, but here's an excerpt from it alerted me to something. Several times I looked over the text ... ...

I clicked on the link, the site was opened ibm. com. It is obvious that the site looked like a strange, he looked more like some kind of portal for news agencies, and was filled with many news, links and short excerpts from texts rather strange. Without further ado, I clicked on the first news with the headline ... ... March 28. Bruce McGee, regional manager of IBM's northwest quadrant, met with President John McCain. discussed a wide range of issues. unacceptable that the supply of Mexicans. humanitarian corridor for heroin from Afghanistan testers. additional provisions to improve the genetic selection in the Ivy League. expressed the firm conviction and affirmed its full support in the fight against global axis of the open source ...

Ugh, very long ago have not read this nonsense. I shrugged and went back, chose the following title ... a huge success. 500,000 Zambian representatives of the medical community and the many citizens of non-traditional sexual orientations. were filled with major hits. enthusiastic audience sang along with the famous lines ... ... Perhaps it is fate. And do not argue with destiny ...

Y-yes, no better and is not informative. I went back to the main page and read all the titles in a row and diagonally:.
- Problems in the production of ultrapure gallium thyristors or why we need a second lunar station.
- Containment of sexual activity nizkointellektualnyh individuals: whether to use the experience of Mozambique?.
- Kent Beck 's favorite women divorced his third wife, and met with Giselle Budhi. Subtitle: Can make hot Brazilian most famous macho extreme programming in the exemplary family man?.
- Tips psychologists: ...
- Almost the whole skeleton of a mammoth found in San Francisco.
- Suppressed excitement of unemployed marketers in Geneva (Switzerland, Europe, the second continent).
- Lure eycharov - tips Aunt Katherine.


It became obvious that this site presents a rather bizarre news. I wanted to look at the alternative (or more than normal, some with which side looking) version of events. I consistently put in the browser cnn. com, bbc. co. uk, reuters. com, and addresses several other came to a head of news portals, but these sites were not available.

I went back to the search page of Google and put ... Download page for a few seconds thought, and then, instead of search results includes a red sign saying.
... Please enter your username and password, or report the use not approved by the search terms ...

I opened my mouth to curse, but I was disturbed ahead of a friendly exclamation Cyril and Sergey:.
- What kind of ass!.
It's amazing how popular this part of the body in the IT workers. As more than two workers will gather information technology, and begin to boast of this part of the body and related things: ... with the new server ... uuu, yes, with a little ass beats. ...

One can not help you begin to understand why girls do not like programmers, because of such words being spoken passionately and with aspiration, they almost completely coincide with the representatives of sexual minorities. Girls in the standard delivery is usually not provided with more or less standard speech analyzer, I would say the opposite - unintelligible words (t. e. All they had not made ​​up in the dictionary ) is automatically removed from the queue for processing, and of what remains after the removal of terms from the speech of almost any IT shnik, the conclusions are quite unambiguous in terms of usefulness for analyzing. The terrible thing is that the algorithm of linguistic analysis, especially when it is programmed with the verbal instruction in the programs ' Big Wash ...

I went to Cyril and Sergey, who is outraged by the clave beat - in their browser, stuck a similar red message about trying to access the raw data, just hang the whole computer and did not respond to keystrokes, including Ctrl-Alt-Del.

- This contagion shows stock prices over the past month - complained Cyril - A look at the story does not give the type of access is not.

- In general, only one site with quotes works in which half of the companies do not, - said Sergey - Do you like? .
- Yes, I do kind of garbage - I admitted, - Went to the site by IBM, and there is a President McCain, drug addicts, mammoths. And the other news is not working, the sites do not meet.

- And we do all hung, you see.

Then came Michael, who broke away from password cracking black and red server, and removed the magical passes still hovering your browser, but when you try to go to 175. 41. 80. 5 appeared once familiar red sign, and then we could not go anywhere. A similar situation exists with the computer on which I carried out his experiments.

- Seems to fall into the black list - shrugged Misha.
- And let us disable Claudia from this server and try another one? .

Mike shrugged again, but peretknul Claudia nearest server, switched on the console screen, moving his lips, he remembered the password, logged, and then launched a browser that is - hurray! .

- Machine nervous, apparently - Misha said, - so let's search is carried out carefully.

- And what about you? .

- Well. - Mike thought for a moment - Is if TCP / IP changed. Or a new album out Corduroy.
- And they did not split up in 2000 - asked Cyril.
- It seems to split up. But then again united? .

I must admit I was pretty shocked - this is how you work with someone for 3 years and did not suspect that he was in the acid jazze understands, and yet with a mind and can not be said. Ok Misha in their headphones, but Cyril! .

Misha quickly scored on a keyboard Corduroy, was clicking on the links trying to find among the juices, colognes and teddy bears as a group - BAMS, again, the red message pops up, but with slightly different wording:.
... Mike chuckled and clicked on it.

Immediately loaded site Ibm. com / ru / culture / patched / music and see a list entitled ...

Well - ka, let 's hear what a wild clown replaced - Misha said and pointed to the first song. After a few seconds and download the player has started somewhere in the bottom of the keyboard poured some cheerful sounds.

- This is where the music is playing? .
- It's a multimedia keyboard, speakers and microphone is, - said Michael - and a mouse 2500 dipiay.
Sergei and I looked at each other.
- A case of you have Skype not? .
- Of course there is - surprise, Misha. - I have a multi- client type of quipu, only more versatile, with everything running.

Mike paused for a moment, and suddenly his face lit up: - Damn, we're able to call out to get us fired!.

I'm in no hurry to rejoice. It has long been noticed that if you are about to wait for the end of some long-term process, it will happen some stuff, which is a welcome relief delay. This is especially clearly seen when dealing with government agencies, such as passport or SAI or any DEZa. After many futile wanderings in these institutions, when, because of some petty crap you send to redo all over again, I recently began to adjust to the fact that on the first try does not work, and come to the officials with a sense of calm that doomed .

And what is strange - if earlier, when the failures, excuses and sadistic guidance of officials infuriated me and burn miles of nerves, they were eager to talk to me again and again, but now, when I was a pre- configured for multiple joyless fellowship, seeking to get rid of me as a . Still, officials are vampires in this one, and the more cold corpse you are, the less interest they suck your lifeblood.

- And the money you have to have Skype? .
- Of course - Michael answered confidently - recently supplemented.
- And do you remember your password? .
- I remember, I remember, - said Michael, who has already started to download the distribution.
- A microphone is working exactly? .

Misha set Skype, type the name and password. With bated breath, we looked at how the green with the tray icon is activated, and the sum of - 5.88! .
Misha quickly dialed the number, tell us - I call my wife! . long whistles were heard, and then click when the tube was removed and there was a sleepy female voice:.
- Hello?.
- Mashunya, greeting! .
- Misha? .
- Yes, Mashun, I've been stuck, you need to help.
- Michael, you always forget - unhappy interrupted Mashunya unknown to us, - the second roll is for the toilet!.
And she hung up. Mike paused, looking at the keyboard. He looked at us:.
- I do not understand what a roll.
- Why did you call my wife? .
- Well, I thought, we need not make a noise, - Misha said, - let the quiet will bring us, take my spare key, and it has a pass, she is there to work in accounting, says an urgent report type, the end of the month.

- Mary from accounting? . Mary was the legendary accounts of the sex-bomb of our office. Tall blonde with a gorgeous figure, as she passed the programmers, was a crunch of the cervical vertebrae, which could begin to seriously fear for the future of the intellectual potential of our company.

Talked about it all, but surely no one knew about her personal life, and to communicate with colleagues, it was cold and unapproachable, corporate ignored, and attempts to ... And, of course, none of us could not imagine that she - the wife of our Misha!.
- Well, yes - surprised Misha - What do you not know? . So, I 'll call.
While we were digested with the staggering news, Mischa hit Redial and we heard sirens and then:.
- Ale - again replied a female voice.
- Mary, I. Do not hang up! - Mike said quickly, - we 're stuck here with the guys, and it is necessary that you came and opened the door.
- What kind of guys, Mike? .
- K- to- any toilet? . And then we heard a male voice asked:.
- Mashun with whom are you talking to?.
- Oh, Mike, and I thought it was you on the Mobile! . - And again we hear short beeps.

We all looked at Misha. He stood in front of a keyboard and staring straight ahead. Such a mixture of rage, despair and confusion, as on the face of Misha, I have not seen for a long time.



continued here.